I try to get out on a photo walk as often as possible. These walks keep me alert and mindful, as I constantly scan my surroundings for photo opportunities. I feel rejuvenated both by the walk itself, and by the satisfaction of knowing I got some good shots.
With the weather we've had lately, I started thinking that if it keeps up, I'm going to need a water proof camera. But last weekend the sky cleared and the sun came out.
I love macro photography. Crawling on my hands and knees, getting really "down to earth", into the grass and moss. There's a miniature world there, and with the added bonus of dew drops and sunshine you can't go wrong.
I pause, and perform acrobatics while really concentrating on keeping myself and the camera still. It's too low down even for my smallest tripod, and the grass is too wet to rest the camera in it.
TIny cobwebs, only 1 centimeter/0.39 inches across, making the dew drops only about 1 millimeter/0.039 inches.
Nearby, I met the architect. She was too busy to stop and pose, so I had to snap a shot as she rushed by.
Higher up in the world, in bushes and trees, small tender green leaves are appearing.
Then, to end the day, another pause while watching a glorious sunset.
How could you not feel rejuvenated from pausing like this?
The crafty alchemist found
great joy in sweeping the truth under the carpet. His scientific acumen was
widely recognised, and gauged by his
standing among his peers, there was very little chance of an investigation. His
supple mind had long ago worked out the importance of keeping those rare oils
and acids well hidden, leaving only some innocent looking juices out in the
open. The herbal mixtures that he invented to sprinkle into these juices hid his
real agenda. Meanwhile, his web of secrets grew as he tenderly cared for his true interest, and he also knew that he could never let the world share his knowledge.
Previously, the hallways had been filled with inherent
silence. Now, the gestures indicated that silence was no longer an option, and
even though there was no sound, hands were flying and messages were delivered.
The following drama would not be limited to these hallways, the knowledge would
be carried to the ends of the earth. Their followers were driven by a passion
that resounded from a source in the depth of their souls, and they would be
singing as they went forth.
Photo from the ruins of Lyse Monastery, est. in 1146, located near Bergen, Norway. * * *
A year and a half ago I lost my balance in life. Or maybe more to the point, my balance was shifted. We suddenly faced a totally different future than the one we had planned. The dreaded disease, the big C, turned up in my family when my husband Sigve was diagnosed with leukemia.
He faced chemo therapy and a stem cell transplant.
I really didn't know what I was facing.
I mean, I had all the info, including the prospect of a 50% survival rate. It's impossible to know how one will react in this kind of situation.
As it turned out, writing became my way of restoring some sort of balance. I started a blog, "Journey to life", mainly as a way of getting the correct information out to family and friends in various parts of the world. So when I sat down every night to write a summary of that day's events, I was also performing self therapy. No matter how tired I was, I had to post, and in doing so, I got to do my own processing. I think that that saved my sanity.
Also, quite early in the process, gratitude became a very important part, and every day I listed 3 thing I was grateful for. Some nights I really had to wring my brain to come up with 3 things, but I did it. Gratitude and negativity will not exist together in our minds, one will exclude the other, and this way I was able to keep a positive mind.
The treatment was successful, and Sigve's recovery proceeded well. Almost a year ago, when this fact actually dawned on me, I lost my balance again. Under stress, we can keep ourselves together, then when we can begin to relax, we fall apart. Fortunately, I met a doctor who saw what was happening, and referred me to therapy.
My healing process has benefitted from various kinds of mindfulness, in the forms of writing, photography and meditation. I also find that from time to time I have to write a post like this.
But sometimes the old balance cannot be restored, a new kind of balance has to be established, and this takes time.
I would say we are resilient. We have bounced back. Our present and future is different from what we had imagined, but at least we still have a present and a future.
He was sure it had been an accident, and that it had not been his
fault, and yet, he was charged with committing a gruesome crime. He had never thought
he would get into this kind of trouble. In his confused state of mind, his actions
had been those of libation, but the ugliness of it had now marred his future. Or
was he being sacrificed by someone with an ulterior agenda? He kept asking
himself how long he would be able to handle the pressure. How long would it
take before he would have to settle for the deal before him? The other side
seemed to have plenty of time, just waiting for him to break down, and the slow
passage of time was really taking it’s toll on him now...
* * *
Libation was a new word for me, so I had to look it up, and since english is not my first language, I'm not sure if I have used it correctly :-)
The moon, unaware of the haunting beauty of her white fullness, her metalic cold reflection bouncing and playing among fuzzy, woolly shadows on the rippled water of the lake surface. ”That coatless, playing child, she looks like me, she must be my daughter!” The moon calls out, admonishing the moon child: ”Return to your mother’s kitchen, and you can have whatever you prefer for supper!”
Cumbersome questions are pelted at my soul, and entranced, I
search for answers, knowing I will not accept them without reluctance. What
was previously cemented truth is no longer mapped out before me, and the smoky
screen before my eyes becomes denser as murmurs of what might have been float
The question in this prompt, or, I think I would rather call it a challenge, is can you unplug from the internet for 24 hours? As I started to consider this, the question that popped up in my mind was not "can I do it?" but rather "do I want to do it?" All of my close friends live out of physical reach of me, and internet is a great way to connect with them.
In my youth we had snail mail, and the odd phone call. It took so long, and was, in many cases, the reason why I lost touch with some great friends in the 70's and 80's. Thanks to the internet, I have reconnected with many of them. I have also reconnected with people from elementary school, high school and college that I probably wouldn't have kept in touch with if Facebook hadn't made it so easy. I New friends are added and kept in touch with. I don't interact constantly with all these people, but Facebook is a good way to a keep little bit in touch with many people at the same time.
So I do spend a fair amount of time on Facebook. I check in often, but don't usually stay long. I also spend a fair amount of time on blogging. The feedback I get on both of these media feeds my soul.
At the moment I am in a situation where I don't socialize much. I am most comfortable in my own home, living every day at my own pace. My social life happens mostly online. So can I give it up? I could, for 24 hours, but I don't want to. I did go unplugged during our recent cruise, but on a day to day basis, I need to be connected.