My word for 2017:
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Friday, December 16, 2016

Blind Masses

The blind masses spoke with one voice
thinking that the people had the power
until the drums set the web spinning
and the thread was unravelled
while everyone insisted 
they knew the truth


* * * * *
An old wordle; Wordle 229. 
The words to play with were:
drum, mass, blind, voice, thread, web,
think, spin, people, power, until, insist

Sunday, December 11, 2016

The empty chair

There is always an empty chair
in my house
in my garden
on my deck
in my car
everywhere
every time I sit down
anywhere
there is always an empty chair
near me



Det er en tom stol
i huset mitt
i hagen min
på terrassen min
i bilen min
overalt
hver gang jeg setter meg ned
uanset hvor
er det alltid en tom stol
nær meg

Saturday, December 03, 2016

I'm Scared

I am scared.
The memory of you and me in
this house
is starting to fade
It's becoming like it was always
just me here
and that scares me.



Jeg er redd.
Minnet om deg og meg i dette huset er
i ferd med å blekne.
Det begynner å føles som om det
alltid har vært bare meg her og 
det skremmer meg.


Friday, November 25, 2016

Remembering the mornings

I wake up to this dead silent house and remember that
I am me without you now

I pause for a moment there
in my new single bed and wonder
how can I be warm and comfortable without you next to me?

And I wonder if there is any point in getting up at all but I always do
while thinking that one day I will spend the whole day in bed and
not feel guilty about it

I start a fire in the wood burner
and remember how warm we kept the house those 

last four years when you were sick and always felt so cold

I go to the kitchen to make my coffee
and I remember how you used to make your omelet
and I used to make bacon and eggs
Now I just put coconut oil in my coffee and don't bother with food


Jeg våkner opp i dette dødsstille huset og husker at
jeg er meg uten deg nå

Jeg ligger stille et øyeblikk i min nye enkelseng og
undres litt over hvordan det kan gå an at 
jeg er varm og komfortabel uten deg ved siden av meg

Jeg lurer på om det er noen vits i å stå opp, men jeg gjør det alltid
mens jeg tenker at en dag skal jeg bli i senga hele dagen, uten 
dårlig samvittighet

Jeg fyrer opp i ovnen og
minnes hvor varmt vi hadde det i huset de
siste fire årene da 
du var mye syk og alltid frøs

Jeg går ut på kjøkkenet for å lage kaffe og 
tenker på at du pleide lage omelett og 
jeg stekte egg og bacon 
Nå tar jeg kokosolje i kaffien og gir blaffen i mat




Thursday, November 24, 2016

Apologies

In my mind, I alternate between 
apologizing for you and
yelling at you
for not being here any more. 

I feel like I am less than half of 
who I was with you,
and that without you
I feel an obligation to fill 
both our roles.

So I keep apologizing for 
not being able to 
even fill my own role.


I hodet mitt veksler jeg mellom å 
unnskylde deg og
å kjefte på deg
for at du ikke er her lenger.

Det føles som jeg er mindre enn 
halvparten av
den jeg var sammen med deg,
men og at uten deg her må jeg fylle 
begge rollene våre.

Og så driver jeg å ber om 
unnskyldning for at jeg
ikke engang kan fylle 
min egen rolle.


Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Blessed


Love has touched me in so many ways,
as a lover, wife, mother and grandmother,
and as a daughter, sister and friend.
I am no longer a daughter, lover or wife.
These scars are deep and painful but
they are there because I have loved and been loved 
deeply 
and I am blessed by those scars.


Jeg har blitt berørt av kjærlighet på så mange måter,
som elskerinne, hustru, mor og mormor,
og som datter, søster og venn.
Jeg er ikke lenger datter, elskerinne og hustru. 
Disse arrene er dype og smertefulle, men
det er fordi jeg har elsket og blitt elsket
dypt
og jeg er velsignet av disse arrene.

©Inger-Marie


Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Crawling back up

Norsk tekst under bildet

When you thought you could not go                                                                          
any deeper,
the floor broke under your feet,
and you discovered that there was a 
basement too.

Dazed, you sat on the floor among 
the dust and the rubble.
There was no elevator
or staircase,
only a heap of boards,
a hammer,
some nails, 
and in order to get back up
you had to build your own ladder,
step by step
until it was big enough to
reach the hole you had 
fallen through.

The process was a long one as you 
worked in the dark,
felt your way around,
hit your fingers as much as the nails.
You bled, 
you screamed,
you begged,
but this was a lonely toil.

In the end you thought you had a ladder
but you didn't know what it looked like.
You made a foundation,
tested it for strength,
made sure it was in balance,
and only then could you
start to make your way up,
step by step.

Sometimes the steps were uneven.
Maybe you could take two steps at a time,
or some were too high to reach,
and you got stuck and had to improvise.
Some broke
and you fell back down and
had to start all over.

But eventually, 
out of breath and exhausted
you pulled yourself through the hole and 
collapsed on the floor.




Du trodde ikke du kunne havne 
dypere ned, men så 
knakk gulvet under føttene dine
og du oppdaget at det fantes en 
kjeller og.

Svimeslått satt du på golvet
i en haug av rusk og rask.
Det fantes ingen 
heis eller trapp,
bare en haug med planker,
en hammer,
noen spiker og
for å komme deg opp igjen 
måtte du bygge din egen stige,
trinn for trinn i mørket
til den nådde opp til hullet du hadde 
falt gjennom.

Det var en lang prosess der du 
arbeidet i mørket,
du følte deg fram,
og traff fingrene like ofte som spikrene.
Du blødde,
du hylte,
du tigde om hjelp,
men dette var en ensom jobb.

Etter ei stund trodde du at du hadde en stige,
men du visste ikke hvordan den så ut.
Du lagde et fundament
så den sto stødig,  
du forsikret deg om at 
den var sterk nok,
og i balanse, 
og først da kunne du ta fatt på 
veien oppover,
trinn for trinn.

Trinnene var ujevne.
Noen ganger kunne du ta to i slengen.
Noen trinn var så langt fra hverandre at du 
sto fast og måtte improvisere.
Og andre ganger knakk trinnet og 
du falt ned igjen og 
måtte begynne på nytt. 

Til slutt, 
anpusten og utkjørt
halte du deg opp gjennom hullet og
falt sammen på golvet.

©Inger-Marie



Tuesday, November 01, 2016

That October Day

Days like this.
Common, ordinary days.
And yet, horrible milestone days.
Rotten, putrid, appalling days that
slither in and through and around me.
Toxic, debilitating days that
paralyze me,
numb all senses and
leave me frozen to my core.

Lonely days -
- so lonely.

I did not think I could live through something like this.
I can survive, but can I live?
I still don't know.

I lost the person I felt safe with.



Wednesday, August 03, 2016

First Call

First morning call holds
that smell of sleepy breath,
that sleepy eye look.
Like by a rising tide
consciousness floods into 
every creek and corner
of a dissolving 
confused mind 
thoughts branching out and 
head spinning.

I trip over real and 
imaginary obstacles 
on my way out of dreams
and I cast my vote for another day 
giving it all the energy I can muster,
and spellbound,
I head out to face 
the rest of my life
one day at a time.





- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wordle 
The words to play with were:
first, call, smell, look, tide, dissolve,
branch, spin, trip, vote, give, spell

Friday, July 08, 2016

Then, and now

I used to have sleepless nights before too.
But at the end of them there was always
a warm body
in a big bed
waiting for me.
Now there's a cold single bed
and woolen socks.



Sunday, July 03, 2016

Weeping... and overcoming

Norsk tekst under bildet.

Some days the heavens weep with me,
so much that my roots are rotting
and my trail becomes unnavigable.
Surrounded by drizzle I
look for that tunnel that will shelter me 
but then the sun comes out and 
swiftly the drizzle 
turns to diamonds and they
become the medicine I need to
reach for the peak of my journey.




Noen ganger gråter himmelen med meg,
så mye at røttene mine råtner
og stien min blir ufarbar.
Omsluttet av regn leter jeg
etter tunnellen som kan skjerme meg,
men så kommer solen fram og 
regnet blir til diamanter som
blir medisinen jeg trenger for å 
kunne strekke meg etter høydepunktet 
på reisen min.

* * * * *

Wordle. The words to play with were:
drizzle, rot, roots, diamonds, trail, tunnel,
swift, heaven, peak, weeping, medicine.

The word "saint" was in there too, but it didn't fit in, 
neither literally nor figuratively.

Friday, March 11, 2016

Moments/Øyeblikk

Norsk tekst under bildet

These crystal clear days
pastel evenings and 
velvet blue nights. 
These collections of moments
that are my life. 
Each moment is all there is.




Disse krystallklare dagene
pastellfargede kvelder og
mørke fløyelsblå netter.
Denne samlingen av øyeblikk
som er mitt liv.
Hvert øyeblikk er alt som er.

Monday, February 15, 2016

Survival

Norsk tekst under bildet.
You used to be my support
and shelter
my base
my anchor

Without you I am
thrown out of the boat

I drift aimlessly
tossed around by waves
in this life's ocean
sometimes pulled down
forced to hold my breath until I
can't stand it any longer
until I swallow water
and sink

Then I'm being pushed back
up to the surface by
unexpected currents
and at the same time
I gasp for air and
rid myself of
sickening sea water

Later
in the evening light
I float on a calm golden surface
grateful that I have survived
one
more
storm





Du var min støtte og 
beskyttelse
min base 
mitt anker

Uten deg er jeg 
kastet ut av båten

jeg driver målløst
kastet rundt av bølger
i dette livets hav
av og til blir jeg trukket ned
og tvunget til å holde pusten til
jeg ikke holder det ut lenger
og jeg svelger vann og 
synker

Så blir jeg dyttet opp
til overflaten igjen av
uventede strømmer
jeg gisper etter luft og
kvitter meg med 
kvalmende sjøvann

Senere
i kveldslyset
flyter jeg på en rolig gylden overflate
takknemlig for å ha overlevd
enda 
en
storm
 


Saturday, January 30, 2016

Liberated Lines 5 Roar

I live my life
I am fine but
one day I
start sobbing
and I
sink down
And lying on my stomach
on my kitchen floor
I am kicking and screaming
roaring
until I have no more
voice
no more
tears
no more
sobs
no more
conscious thoughts left in my head
hoping that you can somehow
hear me
see me

I am in so much agony
because you are not here
any more




Friday, January 29, 2016

Liberated Lines 4 Incantation Let me sing my life

Let me sing my life
before I forget
what my voice sounds like
let me shine 
and be released
as I resolve my issues
may I depend on myself
and be my own shelter
open to myself
always dedicated to my new belief
that I design my life
let me review my life 
but never turn back
I did not crave this revolution
but I have won it


Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Liberated Lines 2 Naming Your Bones

My bones hold my most sacred truths
that I am strong and resilient
vulnerable and guarded
creative
hard as nails and light as a feather

I am a twig on a tree
with roots and branches
that go beyond my imagination

I am a human being
I am stardust
I am love.

Liberated Lines 1 My true names

I am a mother
grieving for her son
I am a wife
grieving for her husband
I am raw and
I ache for comfort

I am a survivor
I am strength
I am overcoming
I am picking myself up and moving forward

I am my own best friend and worst enemy,
and I am invisible.