My word for 2017:
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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

In the darkness

In the darkness 
we are filled with 
spastic sobbing 
and through clenched teeth 
we throw our accusations at 
whoever might be listening.

Life's enigma 
spreads out before us
a dark treacherous sea of reeds
rustling in the storm bursts
it's path never more hidden.

As we watch 
the sea turns into white rapids
and we are hurled into them
the surge pulling us down to 
where we find rare calm spaces
where we can breathe.

It seems like eternity insists on 
waiting for us.

* * * * *



Wordle 88
The words to play with were:
rapid spacious enigma clench spasm burst
insistent hurl seemed rustle rare through
* * * * *

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The snow storm

Icy blasts rush through the snow filled valley,
carrying in it's tail the milky visibility of an unfolding blizzard. 

The few houses listen, brace themselves
as wind gusts grab them by their corners,
by their windows and their doors,
sending shuddering chills down their spines,
scratching itchy wood till they moan and creak,
topping it off with sighs of relief.

Later, when the sky lightens and the wind dies down, 
the sun will come out and 
the feeling of impending tragedy will lessen,
but the roofs will cry slick, glassy icicles.

* * * * *
Wordle 87
The words to play with were:
top milky glassy unfolded itch blast rushes
slicks listen sigh lighten tragic visibility
* * * * *


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Small Kindnesses, A Blogsplash

Kindness is a Very Good Thing. 
Even teensy compassionate acts help the world go round. 
Let's celebrate these Small Kindnesses.
Fiona Robyn from the Writing Our Way Home blog 
is organizing the Small Kindnesses Blogsplash 
today on November 27, 2012.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
One evening a couple of weeks ago I came home and found that someone had returned my emptied trash can from the collection place. That saved me the walk up the street on a windy, rainy evening to wheel it back home myself. I later learned that someone on staff in the kindergarden that is located in my building had done me this big kindness.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Join our Small Kindnesses Blogsplash


Saturday, November 24, 2012

The still, scented air

The still, scented air seeped into flared nostrils
and for one loaded moment
he held her gaze -
then his eyes skimmed across her skin -
so tactile was his look that
she shuddered, and swayed slightly
wishing the moment would never end.
His heart would forever be filled with memories of the
sight before him.

Their clothes were left in a heap,
and as time fell away
flecks of sunlight moved across the sand.

* * * * *
Wordle 84
The words to play with were:
still  scent  sight  fell  fleck  sway
load  heap  skimmed  held  end  fill

* * * * *



Six Word Saturday

~ I'm getting frayed around my edges ~



Sunday, November 18, 2012

Faces

FACES
expressions
life in action
everywhere

 beauty - sorrow - pride

proud faces
beautiful faces
sad faces
- life -

fiery sorrow
pawned beauty
silent pride
- life -

silent sorrow
pawned pride
fiery beauty
- life -

silent beauty
pawned sorrow
fiery pride
life - 
in action

Who belongs?
Who wants to bust out? 
Who is right and who is wrong?

Life in action 

Unless  
find myself
sorry, and 
- lost in action -


Wordle 83 - a baker's dozen.
The words to play with were:
silent, sorry, belong, beauty, faces, bust
wrong, find, life, pawn, pride, fire, unless


The Sunday Whirl

Friday, November 16, 2012

I knew birds would never sing again

I knew birds would never sing again.
I knew brooks would dry up.
Although new walls had been built,
I knew they would fall down.
The leaping phantoms 
that could only be figments of my imagination
kept screaming hollow echoes through the woods,
and I knew I would stay in this rocky place
forever.
* * * * *

Wordle 82
The words to play with were:
although new walls never birds wood
phantom brook rocky hollow leaping dry

The Sunday Whirl

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

The key was never there in the first place

Wordle 81
* * * *
The key was never there in the first place. The key that was supposed to unlock the secret depths of the swelling ocean. So there she was, left alone on the shore, facing tumultuous waves, and nothing would enable her to flee the wrath of her own inner ocean. She already knew that the scramble would continue until it just touched the edge of her consciousness, and it would draw her into it's rotten, putrid water. No charms she had ever known could save her now, because the key that she had been relying on had never been there in the first place.
* * * *


The words to play with were:
wrath tumultuous scramble flees shore key
swelling upbeat depths enable rotten charm 

Thursday, November 01, 2012

Mindful Writing Day - November 1, 2012

Cold feet under a down filled duvet 
in search of warmth where there was none to be found
while howling winds erratically swayed my camper van 
and rocked me to sleep.
- - -
Another lonely night 
while my beloved had to 
spend his night in hospital.


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Monday, October 01, 2012

Breathing

Wordle 76 - playing with words

Scurried breathing, 
in and out, 
in a dazed frame of mind.

Slow breathing, 
letting breath by breath 
drive away fears, 
empty out ambivalence, 
and bring in tenderness. 

Breathing holy prayers, 
like a bird's soft wings 
flapping gently 
against an anxious heart.

Breathing deeply, 
incensed air 
filling expanding lungs, 
bringing sensations 
of mysterious presence.
Me, present in me? 

Breathing,
like my very first breath,
drawn in water
so long ago that 
memories don't go there.

Breathing,
with the knowledge that 
one day 
I will draw my
last breath.
* * * * *

The words to play with were:
dazed incense ambivalence empties holy scurries  
breathing fear flaps prayers water tenderness
* * * * *




Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Artist

Wordle 74
The words to play with were:
artist lilting exterior silhouette saunter peering 
tresses sensuous rich silent color lyric alliteration
One of the words were to be picked as part of the title.
* * * * *
The Artist
Her lilting tone had a sensuous, rich alliteration when she performed her lyrics, and somehow that conflicted deeply with her exterior. She finished, and peered through her long tresses before sauntering silently out of sight, and eventually all that remained was a black silhouette against the colorful sunset. 
* * * * *


Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Sharing Thursday: My Analog Day

I wake up hoping 
that the last 3 1/2 weeks have been a bad dream.
But this morning
like every morning now
the truth hits me
in my chest
in my heart
the absurd truth that
my son actually did die
on July 14.

So my day continues in a daze
of automatic actions
until I can go back to bed
once again hoping 
that I can
somehow
wake up from this nightmare.

In the middle of all this
I try to find spaces to
pause, mindfully, 
through
drawing, writing and photography
and to express and share my 
pain 
and my art work
in a self therapeutic way.









Sunday, July 29, 2012

Life attacks me

Life
attacks me roughly from behind
and in my frenzied mind
I fall wayward into a narrow channel
where I spin like a floating ball
fighting desperately to stay ahead of 
the closing-in waves behind me.
Strangely,
a sublime aura 
settles over my frenzy, but 
I have learned first hand 
that everything is fragile
and I can never return 
to my former 
robust 
Life

* * * * *


Wordle 67
The words to play with were:
wayward falling frenzy attack sublime 
strange settle rough channel ball robust life
* * * * *




Saturday, July 21, 2012

Six Word Saturday

∼ My son lived nearly 30 years ∼

Geir Espen
born August 24, 1982 -  died July 14, 2012



At the moment I don't have the energy, 
capacity or concentration to visit blogs and return comments.
 I ask for your understanding for this.

Six Word Saturday

Monday, July 16, 2012

How Life Plays Tricks on Us

Our 29 year old son has had health issues since he was 13, when he was diagnosed with both Diabetes and Addison's disease (a rare chronic endocrine disorder in which the adrenal glands do not produce sufficient steroid hormones). Diabetes is well known to most, the second one is less common. These two disorders work against each other and make them both complicated to manage.

On Saturday morning, 
our son was found dead in his flat 
by the home care nurse that checked up on him daily. 
He died from medical complications of his two disorders. 

We all know that life is fragile.
One small phone call, 
"we regret to inform you that your son is dead,"
and in those five seconds
everything is turned upside down.

We have known this could happen, 
but you can never be prepared for death,
and parents should never have to bury a child.
We are devastated.

Our son Geir Espen
born August 24, 1982
died July 14, 2012
He is free now, 
and may he rest in peace.



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Anniversary

It's our anniversary today, July 11,
31 years!

I thought it deserved a doodle :-)

Monday, July 09, 2012

Zentangle


* * * * * 

The spurned housewives


Wordle 64
The words to play with were:
ignorant spurn eternity drawers balls year
rind sting months housewives subtracting fall
* * * * *
Months passed before the spurned housewives finally emptied out their drawers and left. Ignorance had been their bliss for what seemed like an eternity, and only a year ago they had actually been happy. They had always considered themselves ballsy and thick-rinded, but now the feeling of having been subtracted from their men's life equations stung, like falling off a high horse. Who knew hearts could be so spiky?
* * * * *

Six Word Saturday

∼ Screeching seagulls resound in my head ∼




Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Zentangle

Zentangling 
while waiting for Sigve to get his daily 
IV medication dose 
at Stord Hospital on Sunday.
This is such a wonderful mindfulness practice,
a true mindful pause!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Mindful writing prompt #47: Summer Solstice

We lay plans. We imagine what our days will be like. It's human nature.
For this Summer Solstice night we had picked out a spot by the sea, facing north-west, a perfect spot to watch the sun set on this longest day/shortest night of the year. These nordic nights are so light, so  blue. A week ago we drove by and said, That's where we'll go. We'll bring fresh prawns. Perfect food  to eat on the rocks by the sea. 
It was going to be like a date. 
Instead, Sigve was in a hospital bed, I was in a guest bed in my daughter's house. Sometimes life gets in the way of our plans.

A sun for Summer Solstice.

My husband has had an unidentified infection for nearly 2 months, and at the moment we're staying at the Haukeland Hospital's patient's hotel (in Bergen). Testing and treating is going on, don't know how long we'll be here. I'm on edge, and my concentration ability is wobbly at best. I'm so sorry I'm slow in returning comments! But I'm hoping for your understanding in this because I really want to keep blogging; it's a wonderful stress outlet! 

Mindful writing prompt #47



Sunday, June 17, 2012

The ones with flaring tempers

Wordle 61
The words to play with were:
blend latch chest current draft string
crack spare temper refrain racket trace strike
* * * * *
The ones with flaring tempers refrained from blending in when the racket increased. Instead they fled on a drafty current, stringing along all traces of who they had been. All that remained was a cracked chest with a latch that didn't work, and no spare key. Why didn't this strike anyone as odd?
* * * * *

More Zentangling



Sunday, June 10, 2012

The stones along the river


Wordle 60
The words to play with were: 
bluffs, willow, corona, brush, trembled, 
mud, crawl, vessels, nail, stain, shadows, stones
* * * * *
The stones along the river lay heavy on the roots of the willows. As they watched the mud stained water crawl by, they whispered among themselves, wondering what it would be like to move on in the world.
The willows laughed when they heard this, knowing that if the stones were to hurl themselves into this lazy river they would sink like, yes, stones.
-The likes of us are heavy and firmly rooted and not meant to go anywhere, they said.
One evening just before sunset, dark shadows came floating down the river. To their horror, the willows could see that they were vessels made out of trees that had been cut down, and nails has been driven into them. They trembled, and stirred up more mud along the river bank as they considered this fate.
The stones had seen them too. -You were bluffing, they growled, it is possible for us to travel! -We could sit in vessels like that and not sink!
Eagerly they strained themselves to the point were many of them tipped over. Lying there on their backs, looking up at the corona of sunshine around the back lit willows, they wondered how many millenniums it would take them to get back into their spots. And now, as the view of the beautiful setting sun had caught their attention, they forgot about traveling.
The shadowy vessels brushed by the willows and floated slowly out of sight.

The willows drew deep breaths of relief. They would never have been willing to sacrifice themselves so the stones could go off on a joyride anyway.





Doodling

I have been absent from blogging for a while. My husband has been sick for 6 weeks, and in hospital for 4 of them, being treated for an infection. With his history of leukemia and stem cell transplant in Aug. 2010, these things are a bit tricky. The short version is that in the end he responded to an anti fungal medication, and is doing well now. 
The infection came on quite suddenly, and I wasn't able to concentrate on the things I usually do, like blogging, photography and writing. So I had to find another artistic outlet that I could handle, because we need that, no matter what, don't we? 
I have always been convinced that I can't draw, and equally convinced that I should be able to learn some kind of drawing. I had a look around Pinterest, and found that lots and lots of people out there are doodling and Zentangling. I had a go at it, and discovered that it was something that I could actually do. And almost equally important, I discovered that it's an excellent exercise in mindfulness and relaxation. So in between hospital visits, I spent my days doodling and Zentangling while listening to audio books. Now I enjoy it so much that I'll keep on developing my skills. My days are going to need more than just the 24 hours, though, sigh.... :-)

Here are a couple of my tangles:




Friday, April 27, 2012

Mindful writing prompt #40: A Time to Heal

Sometimes it is necessary 
to move away from the main stream.
To seek solitude, to recharge 
without the influence of others.
Sometimes it is vital 
to avoid distractions in order to
maintain harmony and balance.
To restore inner calm so I can hear myself think.
So I can recognize who I am.
So I can create who I want to be.
So I can be healed.




Thursday, April 26, 2012

My Most Beautiful Thing ll

In that small, tantalizing moment when you realize
that the tiny flame is back in your heart,
you feel the familiar contentment,
and the relief of being out of the doldrums.

You know that the light is back in your life.

That is also truly a Most Beautiful Thing!


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My Most Beautiful Thing

I think that most grandparents will agree that the most beautiful thing in the world is their grandchild. 
This new person, my grandson. A mix of his two parents, four grandparents, and so on, all the generations gone before him. I see lines and expressions that I recognize from present day relatives on my side of the family. In so many ways he looks just like his uncle, my firstborn. Then, a twist of the mouth, and there's my mother. A look, and I see myself. His profile shows a hint of his mum's cousins. He has his mother's toes. All those people, family lines, generations, passing on their ancient genes. They all come together in this little boy. And yet he is himself. Someone new, someone fresh, just starting out in life. 

A grandchild is life's dessert.

My daughter, his mother, this once a rebel child, has now developed into the most awesome, wonderful mother, so in love with her child. I never tire of watching the two interact.


Then there's these two. The grandfather, a miraculous leukemia survivor, who's only regret when he was diagnosed was that he might not get to see any of his grandchildren. Now he's the little one's big hero. No-one else will do if he's around.


And I absolutely adore him too.


This post is a participation in the My Most Beautiful Thing Blogsplash (24th April 2012) in celebration of Fiona Robyn‘s book ‘The Most Beautiful thing”.

The Most Beautiful Thing


Sunday, April 22, 2012

Six Word Saturday

~ I love my rocky home turf ~



Her exquisite ears...


Wordle 53. 
The words to play with were:
aches spangling cacophony ferment dragon coda
shimmy shelved ethereal abstract origami exquisite
* * *
Her exquisite ears ached from the spangling cacophony. 
The fermenting dragon was shimmying on the shelf, 
like an ethereal vision of abstract origami, 
a coda to the dream running circles in her head.
* * *
I need to admit that I have no idea if I have used these words correctly. 
This just somehow sounded good to me :-)
Any critical comments are welcome!

Chinese dragon

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Alone

I take a pre sunset stroll out on our deck. The air is cool and crisp. There is silence except for the evening solo song of a starling in a tree top, and the haunting screech of a seagull. 

I am alone here 
tonight.
I am grateful that I am not alone here 
permanently.


Sunday, April 08, 2012

Arts and Crafts

Hi guys! Sorry I'm not responding to your nice comments at the moment. The reason is I'm on an Arts & crafts tour of Morocco, presently in Marrakech, having an absolutely wonderful time. There is wi-fi at this hotel, but unsure of the next ones. Anyway, I don't have my laptop, only my iPhone, and our itinerary is intensive, so time at the hotel is limited. Now it's time to go out for dinner. I'll be back after th 14th. Love to you all:-)

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Sharing Thursday: At Home

Cliché:
Home is where the heart is.
True, but not the whole truth.
Home is when you have the freedom and support 
to create the person you want to be.
Home is your comfort sone.
Home is your shelter. 



Thursday, March 29, 2012

Mindful writing prompt #39: Rejuvenate, and Sharing Thursday: Pause

I have decided to combine these two prompts into
Rejuvenating Pause.

I try to get out on a photo walk as often as possible. These walks keep me alert and mindful, as I constantly scan my surroundings for photo opportunities. I feel rejuvenated both by the walk itself, and by the satisfaction of knowing I got some good shots. 
With the weather we've had lately, I started thinking that if it keeps up, I'm going to need a water proof camera. But last weekend the sky cleared and the sun came out. 

I love macro photography. Crawling on my hands and knees, getting really "down to earth", into the grass and moss. There's a miniature world there, and with the added bonus of dew drops and sunshine you can't go wrong. 
I pause, and perform acrobatics while really concentrating on keeping myself and the camera still. It's too low down even for my smallest tripod, and the grass is too wet to rest the camera in it. 


TIny cobwebs, only 1 centimeter/0.39 inches across, making the dew drops only about 1 millimeter/0.039 inches.


Nearby, I met the architect. She was too busy to stop and pose, so I had to snap a shot as she rushed by.


Higher up in the world, in bushes and trees, small tender green leaves are appearing.


Then, to end the day, another pause while watching a glorious sunset.


How could you not feel rejuvenated from pausing like this?

* * *
both on