In the darkness

In the darkness 
we are filled with 
spastic sobbing 
and through clenched teeth 
we throw our accusations at 
whoever might be listening.

Life's enigma 
spreads out before us
a dark treacherous sea of reeds
rustling in the storm bursts
it's path never more hidden.

As we watch 
the sea turns into white rapids
and we are hurled into them
the surge pulling us down to 
where we find rare calm spaces
where we can breathe.

It seems like eternity insists on 
waiting for us.

* * * * *

Wordle 88

The words to play with were:

rapid spacious enigma clench spasm burst

insistent hurl seemed rustle rare through

* * * * *

The Sunday Whirl

The snow storm

Icy blasts rush through the snow filled valley,

carrying in it's tail the milky visibility of an unfolding blizzard. 

The few houses listen, brace themselves

as wind gusts grab them by their corners,

by their windows and their doors,

sending shuddering chills down their spines,

scratching itchy wood till they moan and creak,

topping it off with sighs of relief.

Later, when the sky lightens and the wind dies down, 

the sun will come out and 

the feeling of impending tragedy will lessen,

but the roofs will cry slick, glassy icicles.

* * * * *

Wordle 87

The words to play with were:

top milky glassy unfolded itch blast rushes

slicks listen sigh lighten tragic visibility

* * * * *

The Sunday Whirl

Small Kindnesses, A Blogsplash

Kindness is a Very Good Thing. 

Even teensy compassionate acts help the world go round. 

Let's celebrate these Small Kindnesses.

Fiona Robyn from the Writing Our Way Home blog 

is organizing the Small Kindnesses Blogsplash 

today on November 27, 2012.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One evening a couple of weeks ago I came home and found that someone had returned my emptied trash can from the collection place. That saved me the walk up the street on a windy, rainy evening to wheel it back home myself. I later learned that someone on staff in the kindergarden that is located in my building had done me this big kindness.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The still, scented air

The still, scented air seeped into flared nostrils
and for one loaded moment
he held her gaze -
then his eyes skimmed across her skin -
so tactile was his look that
she shuddered, and swayed slightly
wishing the moment would never end.
His heart would forever be filled with memories of the
sight before him.

Their clothes were left in a heap,
and as time fell away
flecks of sunlight moved across the sand.

* * * * *

Wordle 84

The words to play with were:

still  scent  sight  fell  fleck  sway

load  heap  skimmed  held  end  fill

* * * * *

The Sunday Whirl

Six Word Saturday

~ I'm getting frayed around my edges ~

Six Word Saturday

Faces

FACES

expressions
life in action
everywhere

 beauty - sorrow - pride

proud faces

beautiful faces
sad faces

- life -

fiery sorrow

pawned beauty
silent pride

- life -

silent sorrow

pawned pride
fiery beauty
- life -

silent beauty

pawned sorrow
fiery pride

- life - 

in action

Who belongs?

Who wants to bust out? 

Who is right and who is wrong?

Life in action 

Unless  
I find myself
sorry, and 
- lost in action -

Wordle 83 - a baker's dozen.

The words to play with were:

silent, sorry, belong, beauty, faces, bust
wrong, find, life, pawn, pride, fire, unless

The Sunday Whirl

I knew birds would never sing again

I knew birds would never sing again.

I knew brooks would dry up.

Although new walls had been built,

I knew they would fall down.

The leaping phantoms 

that could only be figments of my imagination
kept screaming hollow echoes through the woods,
and I knew I would stay in this rocky place

forever.

* * * * *

Wordle 82

The words to play with were:

although new walls never birds wood

phantom brook rocky hollow leaping dry

The Sunday Whirl

Six Word Saturday

∼ Inertia has caught up with me ∼

Six Word Saturday

The key was never there in the first place

Wordle 81

* * * *

The key was never there in the first place. The key that was supposed to unlock the secret depths of the swelling ocean. So there she was, left alone on the shore, facing tumultuous waves, and nothing would enable her to flee the wrath of her own inner ocean. She already knew that the scramble would continue until it just touched the edge of her consciousness, and it would draw her into it's rotten, putrid water. No charms she had ever known could save her now, because the key that she had been relying on had never been there in the first place.

* * * *

The words to play with were:

wrath tumultuous scramble flees shore key

swelling upbeat depths enable rotten charm 

The Sunday Whirl

Mindful Writing Day - November 1, 2012

Cold feet under a down filled duvet 

in search of warmth where there was none to be found

while howling winds erratically swayed my camper van 

and rocked me to sleep.
- - -

Another lonely night 

while my beloved had to 

spend his night in hospital.

Breathing

Scurried breathing, 

in and out, 

in a dazed frame of mind.

Slow breathing, 

letting breath by breath 

drive away fears, 

empty out ambivalence, 

and bring in tenderness. 

Breathing holy prayers, 

like a bird's soft wings 

flapping gently 

against an anxious heart.

Breathing deeply, 

incensed air 

filling expanding lungs, 

bringing sensations 

of mysterious presence.

Me, present in me? 

Breathing,

like my very first breath,

drawn in water

so long ago that 

memories don't go there.

Breathing,

with the knowledge that 

one day 

I will draw my

last breath.

Wordle 76 - playing with words.

The words to play with were:

dazed incense ambivalence empties holy scurries  

breathing fear flaps prayers water tenderness

The Sunday Whirl

Creative Every Day

The Artist

Wordle 74

The words to play with were:

artist lilting exterior silhouette saunter peering 

tresses sensuous rich silent color lyric alliteration
One of the words were to be picked as part of the title.

* * * * *

The Artist

Her lilting tone had a sensuous, rich alliteration when she performed her lyrics, and somehow that conflicted deeply with her exterior. She finished, and peered through her long tresses before sauntering silently out of sight, and eventually all that remained was a black silhouette against the colorful sunset. 

* * * * *

The Sunday Whirl

Six Word Saturday

 ∼ We have the best friends ever ∼

Six Word Saturday

My Rock and my Support

Sharing Thursday: My Analog Day

I wake up hoping 

that the last 3 1/2 weeks have been a bad dream.

But this morning

like every morning now

the truth hits me

in my chest

in my heart

the absurd truth that

my son actually did die

on July 14.

So my day continues in a daze

of automatic actions

until I can go back to bed

once again hoping 

that I can
somehow
wake up from this nightmare.

In the middle of all this

I try to find spaces to

pause, mindfully, 

through

drawing, writing and photography

and to express and share my 

pain 

and my art work
in a self therapeutic way.

Sharing Thursday

Creative Every Day

Six Word Saturday

∼ Self caught dinner brings great satisfaction ∼

Six Word Saturday

Life attacks me

Life

attacks me roughly from behind

and in my frenzied mind

I fall wayward into a narrow channel

where I spin like a floating ball

fighting desperately to stay ahead of 

the closing-in waves behind me.

Strangely,

a sublime aura 

settles over my frenzy, but 
I have learned first hand 

that everything is fragile

and I can never return 

to my former 

robust 

Life

* * * * *

Wordle 67

The words to play with were:

wayward falling frenzy attack sublime 

strange settle rough channel ball robust life

* * * * *

The Sunday Whirl

Six Word Saturday

∼ Life will regain normality. Somehow. Eventually. ∼

Six Word Saturday

∼ Tears in Heaven ∼

Creative Every Day

Six Word Saturday

∼ My son lived nearly 30 years ∼

Geir Espen

born August 24, 1982 -  died July 14, 2012

At the moment I don't have the energy, 

capacity or concentration to visit blogs and return comments.

 I ask for your understanding for this.

Six Word Saturday

How Life Plays Tricks on Us

Our 29 year old son has had health issues since he was 13, when he was diagnosed with both Diabetes and Addison's disease (a rare chronic endocrine disorder in which the adrenal glands do not produce sufficient steroid hormones). Diabetes is well known to most, the second one is less common. These two disorders work against each other and make them both complicated to manage.

On Saturday morning, 

our son was found dead in his flat 

by the home care nurse that checked up on him daily. 

He died from medical complications of his two disorders. 

We all know that life is fragile.

One small phone call, 

"we regret to inform you that your son is dead,"

and in those five seconds

everything is turned upside down.

We have known this could happen, 

but you can never be prepared for death,

and parents should never have to bury a child.

We are devastated.

Our son Geir Espen

born August 24, 1982

died July 14, 2012

He is free now, 

and may he rest in peace.

Six Word Saturday

~ Zentangling truly is a meditative activity ~

Six Word Saturday

Zentangling

Anniversary

It's our anniversary today, July 11,

31 years!

I thought it deserved a doodle :-)

Zentangle

* * * * * 

Creative Every Day

The spurned housewives

Wordle 64

The words to play with were:

ignorant spurn eternity drawers balls year

rind sting months housewives subtracting fall

* * * * *

Months passed before the spurned housewives finally emptied out their drawers and left. Ignorance had been their bliss for what seemed like an eternity, and only a year ago they had actually been happy. They had always considered themselves ballsy and thick-rinded, but now the feeling of having been subtracted from their men's life equations stung, like falling off a high horse. Who knew hearts could be so spiky?

* * * * *

The Sunday Whirl

Six Word Saturday

∼ Screeching seagulls resound in my head ∼

Six Word Saturday

Zentangle

Zentangling 

while waiting for Sigve to get his daily 

IV medication dose 

at Stord Hospital on Sunday.

This is such a wonderful mindfulness practice,

a true mindful pause!

Mindful writing prompt #47: Summer Solstice

We lay plans. We imagine what our days will be like. It's human nature.

For this Summer Solstice night we had picked out a spot by the sea, facing north-west, a perfect spot to watch the sun set on this longest day/shortest night of the year. These nordic nights are so light, so  blue. A week ago we drove by and said, That's where we'll go. We'll bring fresh prawns. Perfect food  to eat on the rocks by the sea. 

It was going to be like a date. 

Instead, Sigve was in a hospital bed, I was in a guest bed in my daughter's house. Sometimes life gets in the way of our plans.

A sun for Summer Solstice.

My husband has had an unidentified infection for nearly 2 months, and at the moment we're staying at the Haukeland Hospital's patient's hotel (in Bergen). Testing and treating is going on, don't know how long we'll be here. I'm on edge, and my concentration ability is wobbly at best. I'm so sorry I'm slow in returning comments! But I'm hoping for your understanding in this because I really want to keep blogging; it's a wonderful stress outlet! 

Mindful writing prompt #47

The ones with flaring tempers

Wordle 61

The words to play with were:

blend latch chest current draft string

crack spare temper refrain racket trace strike

* * * * *

The ones with flaring tempers refrained from blending in when the racket increased. Instead they fled on a drafty current, stringing along all traces of who they had been. All that remained was a cracked chest with a latch that didn't work, and no spare key. Why didn't this strike anyone as odd?

* * * * *

The Sunday Whirl

More Zentangling

Thursday tangle

Zentangle

A Zendala for today

The stones along the river

Wordle 60

The words to play with were: 

bluffs, willow, corona, brush, trembled, 

mud, crawl, vessels, nail, stain, shadows, stones

* * * * *

The stones along the river lay heavy on the roots of the willows. As they watched the mud stained water crawl by, they whispered among themselves, wondering what it would be like to move on in the world.

The willows laughed when they heard this, knowing that if the stones were to hurl themselves into this lazy river they would sink like, yes, stones.

-The likes of us are heavy and firmly rooted and not meant to go anywhere, they said.

One evening just before sunset, dark shadows came floating down the river. To their horror, the willows could see that they were vessels made out of trees that had been cut down, and nails has been driven into them. They trembled, and stirred up more mud along the river bank as they considered this fate.

The stones had seen them too. -You were bluffing, they growled, it is possible for us to travel! -We could sit in vessels like that and not sink!

Eagerly they strained themselves to the point were many of them tipped over. Lying there on their backs, looking up at the corona of sunshine around the back lit willows, they wondered how many millenniums it would take them to get back into their spots. And now, as the view of the beautiful setting sun had caught their attention, they forgot about traveling.

The shadowy vessels brushed by the willows and floated slowly out of sight.

The willows drew deep breaths of relief. They would never have been willing to sacrifice themselves so the stones could go off on a joyride anyway.

The Sunday Whirl

Doodling

I have been absent from blogging for a while. My husband has been sick for 6 weeks, and in hospital for 4 of them, being treated for an infection. With his history of leukemia and stem cell transplant in Aug. 2010, these things are a bit tricky. The short version is that in the end he responded to an anti fungal medication, and is doing well now. 

The infection came on quite suddenly, and I wasn't able to concentrate on the things I usually do, like blogging, photography and writing. So I had to find another artistic outlet that I could handle, because we need that, no matter what, don't we? 

I have always been convinced that I can't draw, and equally convinced that I should be able to learn some kind of drawing. I had a look around Pinterest, and found that lots and lots of people out there are doodling and Zentangling. I had a go at it, and discovered that it was something that I could actually do. And almost equally important, I discovered that it's an excellent exercise in mindfulness and relaxation. So in between hospital visits, I spent my days doodling and Zentangling while listening to audio books. Now I enjoy it so much that I'll keep on developing my skills. My days are going to need more than just the 24 hours, though, sigh.... :-)

Here are a couple of my tangles:

Six Word Saturday

~ seaweeds slow dancing to water music ~

Six Word Saturday

Mindful writing prompt #40: A Time to Heal

Sometimes it is necessary 

to move away from the main stream.

To seek solitude, to recharge 

without the influence of others.

Sometimes it is vital 

to avoid distractions in order to

maintain harmony and balance.

To restore inner calm so I can hear myself think.

So I can recognize who I am.

So I can create who I want to be.
So I can be healed.

Mindful writing prompt.

My Most Beautiful Thing ll

In that small, tantalizing moment when you realize
that the tiny flame is back in your heart,

you feel the familiar contentment,
and the relief of being out of the doldrums.

You know that the light is back in your life.

That is also truly a Most Beautiful Thing!

My Most Beautiful Thing

I think that most grandparents will agree that the most beautiful thing in the world is their grandchild. 

This new person, my grandson. A mix of his two parents, four grandparents, and so on, all the generations gone before him. I see lines and expressions that I recognize from present day relatives on my side of the family. In so many ways he looks just like his uncle, my firstborn. Then, a twist of the mouth, and there's my mother. A look, and I see myself. His profile shows a hint of his mum's cousins. He has his mother's toes. All those people, family lines, generations, passing on their ancient genes. They all come together in this little boy. And yet he is himself. Someone new, someone fresh, just starting out in life. 

A grandchild is life's dessert.

My daughter, his mother, this once a rebel child, has now developed into the most awesome, wonderful mother, so in love with her child. I never tire of watching the two interact.

Then there's these two. The grandfather, a miraculous leukemia survivor, who's only regret when he was diagnosed was that he might not get to see any of his grandchildren. Now he's the little one's big hero. No-one else will do if he's around.

And I absolutely adore him too.

This post is a participation in the My Most Beautiful Thing Blogsplash (24th April 2012) in celebration of Fiona Robyn‘s book ‘The Most Beautiful thing”.